A Man of the Beatitudes

How the late Bob Ferretti embodied what it means to be a Catholic school educator

By Christina Gray

Former administrators, faculty and students of Junipero Serra High School were rocked by the Sept. 16 death of Bob Ferretti, retired longtime dean of the all-boys Catholic school in San Mateo. His funeral Mass at St. Monica Church on Sept. 28 overflowed with people he influenced and inspired in his 31 years as a Catholic educator, some of whom spoke with Catholic San Francisco about his faith that expressed itself as a vocation to teaching.

“Bob was a witness, who taught with his life unto his final breath,” said celebrant Msgr. John Talesfore, pastor of St. Matthew Parish in San Mateo, where Ferretti and his wife of nearly 45 years, Patti, belonged.

Ferretti, 75, received the Commendation of the Dying, or last rites, from Msgr. Talesfore in the hospital where he died just six weeks after being diagnosed with cancer. Watching Ferretti, a lifelong teacher, “demonstrating such confidence in God’s plan” in the face of a terminal illness brought to mind the words of Pope St. Paul VI, he said.

“Modern man listens more willingly to witnesses than he does to teachers, and if he listens to teachers, it’s because they are witnesses,” said Msgr. Talesfore.

Salt of the earth, light of the world

Born April 12, 1949, in San Francisco, Robert Ferretti attended St. Monica School and Sacred Heart Cathedral Preparatory before earning his undergraduate degree and teaching credential at San Francisco State University. He later earned a master’s degree in business administration there as well.

While earning his credential, he taught at St. Monica School and later St. Stephen School. In 1977, Ferretti was hired to teach theology and history at Archbishop Riordan High School in San Francisco, where he served until 1981. He left education for a short stint in the banking industry but was hired by Junipero Serra High School in 1986 as a theology teacher. Over the course of the next 31 years until his retirement in 2017, Ferretti served Serra High School as a teacher, dean of discipline and ultimately dean of students.

“He really was a man of the Beatitudes,” said Father Stephen Howell, a former and longtime president of Serra High School. He worked alongside Ferretti for decades and witnessed a man “living out the vocation — not just the job — of being a Catholic school educator.”

Ferretti had himself chosen the Beatitudes as the Gospel reading for his funeral Mass, said Father Howell, who recited the verses that follow Matthew 5:3-12. Here, Jesus tells his followers that they are the “salt of the earth” and the “light of the world.” Their faith and deeds are a “a light to shine before others” so others may glorify God.

Ferretti lived like that, said Father Howell. “He really was the salt of the earth and light of Christ to the world. He lived out the great commandment of loving God and showing this love of God through love of neighbor.”

“I want to catch them doing something good”

In time, Ferretti became the dean of discipline at Serra High School, a role for which he was uniquely suited, according to former colleagues.

“I remember thinking at the time, he’ll never survive as dean of discipline, he’s too nice of a guy,” said Barry Thornton, who started as a Serra theology teacher with Ferretti, and later served as principal, then president. “But Bob was able to balance the ability to be strict and hold students accountable, with love.”

A Catholic school is a community that represents the values of Christ, said Thornton, and when you are helping boys ages 14-18 become young men, “it’s really about challenging them in a way that calls them to their highest potential.”

“Bob played a very strong and important pastoral role in the life of so many thousands of Serra Padres,” said Lars Lund, who retired in 2015 after more than 40 years with Serra High School, including as principal and president.

Ferretti was wise to all the pressures and stresses that teenagers have, and which sometimes get them into trouble, said Lund. He would give them a little lecture about what it takes to be a Padre and upholding Catholic school values. But he never left it at that, according to Lund. Ferretti would try to “catch them doing something good” in the weeks and months to follow, so he could praise them for it.

“He had the gravitas that the kids needed,” said Lund.

The role of laypeople in Catholic schools has always been important, but “it’s even more important now,” he said, because of the scarcity of religious men and women on Catholic campuses. Throughout most of the years Ferretti was at Serra High School, there was only one half-time priest-chaplain on campus, according to Father Howell. Lay faculty like Ferretti filled an important role.

“I’m not talking about the Mass or the sacraments but being an ear for the boys to talk to,” he said. “Teenagers go through all sorts of things.” He said Ferretti was a good listener, who did far more than just dole out punishment to misbehaving boys.

“No, he wanted the students to understand what they did was wrong, and why they think they did it,” said Father Howell. He tried to help students become mature Catholic men, he said, by helping them see that accountability was less about punishment and more about them developing into the men God made them to be.

“Bobby wasn’t a pietistic guy, but the kids knew his faith was important to him, and that he was engaged in a ministry on their behalf,” said Lund. “I aspire to have his holiness.”

Serra students remember

A number of former students Ferretti had once suspended came to his funeral to pay their respects. Others continue to write messages to his widow, Patti.

Patti Ferretti said she is still getting text messages and emails from Serra boys, now grown men. The couple met at a CYO event in 1978, married in 1980 and have three children and five grandchildren.

For 15 years, the pair commuted together back and forth to Serra, where Patti also worked in campus ministry and student activities.

The Ferrettis served as a great model of a happy marriage to the boys, said Lund.

“My favorite part of working with Bob at Serra was watching him live out his faith. Each encounter he had with these boys was a different adventure. Whatever hand Bob was dealt, he handled it like, what would Jesus do?”

Patti shared a text that came from Robbie Yapp, class of 2012, that read in part:

“I can honestly say I would not have the amazing life and people in it I do today without you or Bob. Bob saw the good in me that I was too consumed in anger and fear to see myself. … Bob saw something beautiful in me when I couldn’t see much of anything in myself. The chances he gave me and the lessons he taught me have stuck with me until this very day. When people ask me what Serra HS did for me, I tell them that it gave me a real shot at showing up for myself when I wasn’t ready to do it.”

“Mr. Ferretti meant the world to me,” wrote Drew Iannone, class of 2004. “I have told everyone I have encountered through the years that he is the main, huge contributing factor that made me who I am today.”

“There are many men who were made better because of Bob’s guidance,” said Ray Whelan, class of 2013. “His legacy will carry on for many years to come.”

He lived as a teacher and died as one, said Thornton. “The example he gave us about making the passage of earthly life to heavenly life really gives us something to think about – what our lives are about and what our lives are for,” he said. 

Christina Gray is the lead writer for Catholic San Francisco.